How Attunement Can Change a Survivor

By Corinne Vance, Director of Trauma Therapy

I began my journey with The WellHouse three years ago, not really knowing what I was stepping into, but knowing I was following God’s calling to me. As I started doing therapy with these women, I was creating a plan out of my “back pocket.” I knew enough, having worked in the trafficking world for 10 years, and I knew that the level of trauma these women had endured was at the level of torture. These women had survived, and here they were at The WellHouse. I questioned myself on how I could help them. 

I sat with them and listened.

In my training, I came to understand the significant importance of attunement. We all know the word empathy. A phrase often heard is, “you must walk a mile in someone’s shoes to understand what they are going through”. Attunement is like empathy, only deeper. Attunement allows a person to both consciously and unconsciously be experienced by a therapist. The most important factor in the healing of trauma is the therapeutic alliance, or the relationship between a healthcare professional and a client (or patient). And good attunement occurs as the therapeutic alliance grows.

Good attunement is life-changing, and at the same time, extremely hard work on the part of therapist. Attunement is the ability to listen very closely while observing every nuance and detail of another person. Another phrase often used is ‘active listening’. It is the process of taking in the presence of another. The very obvious is the clothes they are wearing, hair style, and eye contact. The less obvious are the tone of their voice, the twitch in a facial muscle, body movement, and the word phrases used.

Most people have experienced moments of attunement, or have felt heard or seen at some point. For the trafficking survivor, someone who has never been fully noticed, heard, and loved before, someone who has been neglected and abused, attunement is healing.

The process of therapy is humbling work, using both the conscious and the unconscious minds of both therapist and resident. The work of sitting with these women is honoring. I am often asked how can I do this work and listen to these stories of incomprehensible horror. For me, I walk in the “now and not yet”, a phrase from the works of theologian Herman N. Ridderbos. I know the realities of this fallen world, and yet I receive tastes of heaven and reminders of God who is able to bring about redemption in unimaginable ways.

I get to sit and take in these incredible women who have not only survived, but are thriving. They take nothing for granted, and they find joy in the smallest of offerings. Having five dollars of their own and being able to go to Walmart to purchase whatever they want with that five dollars brings absolute joy to them. They receive a Christmas present—something many of them have never received—and they are undone in their emotions, unable to comprehend why they would be chosen to receive a gift. These are stunning and amazing women—and they are my heroes.